{"id":134174,"date":"2020-01-27T16:43:06","date_gmt":"2020-01-27T16:43:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/amateurphotographer.co.uk\/?p=134174"},"modified":"2020-01-29T15:24:40","modified_gmt":"2020-01-29T15:24:40","slug":"photo-therapy-when-photography-is-a-life-saver","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/other.kelsey.host\/amateurphotographer\/latest\/articles\/photo-therapy-when-photography-is-a-life-saver\/","title":{"rendered":"Photo therapy: when photography is a life-saver"},"content":{"rendered":"

Paul Williams, wildlife photographer<\/strong><\/h3>\n

On a warm spring day in March 2010 Paul Williams\u2019 life changed forever. As a policeman, ex-soldier, and former mental-health specialist he had witnessed plenty of unsettling events, so when a tall, unkempt woman burst into Bournemouth police station, whipped out a samurai sword, and threatened to kill everyone in the room he reacted swiftly. \u2018I diverted her attention from others by shouting at her, trying to make myself the target,\u2019 he recalls. \u2018She raised the sword above her head, and I instinctively found my [pepper] spray, dispensing the content into her eyes.\u2019 The woman (who was suffering from schizophrenia) dropped the weapon, \u2018screaming and clawing at her face\u2019 as the spray took effect. She was arrested (and later sectioned under the Mental Health Act), while Paul was left to complete a mountain of paperwork, and get on with his job. Three months later, on the eve of his 50th birthday, this stoic man was lying on a hospital bed with a wall of machines monitoring his vital signs. Paul believed he was having a heart attack, but the health professionals disagreed with his self-diagnosis. Having seen his GP, he was signed off work with stress-related symptoms. It was the beginning of a \u2018living hell\u2019.<\/p>\n\t\t

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A leaping polar bear. Canon EOS-1D X Mark II, 600mm lens, 1\/640sec at f\/5.6, ISO 800. Credit: Paul Williams<\/p>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n

Getting out of the abyss<\/h3>\n

In the months that followed, Paul\u2019s mental health deteriorated and a diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and severe recurrent depression was made. But Paul wasn\u2019t ready to accept this label, and his denial plunged him deeper into the abyss. By 2011 he had hit rock bottom, and attempted suicide three times. Despite the bleakness of his situation, some of the dark, angst-filled days were punctuated with flashes of light and hope. \u2018I discovered I had a lot of birdlife and a family of mice and voles living outside my kitchen window,\u2019 he reveals. Paul began looking forward to the arrival of these opportunistic creatures, and decided to dig out his camera and record their comings and goings. \u2018I got a lot of pleasure out of the fact that the shots weren\u2019t easy to get,\u2019 he admits. \u2018I don\u2019t believe wildlife should always be easy to photograph \u2013 I think you should have to work for it.\u2019 With some trepidation, Paul posted a few images on Facebook, and received a favourable response, which boosted his self-esteem. Before long this soft-housebound man was in the garden searching for subjects to photograph.<\/p>\n

Not exactly a newcomer to the scene, Paul\u2019s background in photography dates back to the 1980s when he had a penchant for landscapes. When he picked up the camera again it was macro and wildlife that offered the greatest distraction from the symptoms of his PTSD.<\/p>\n

\u2018When you\u2019re out shooting insects you\u2019re concentrating, and for 10 or 15 minutes whatever was troubling you just disappears into the background because you\u2019re so focused,\u2019 he suggests. \u2018It was also good for me physically as it got me moving my body outside in the fresh air and sunshine rather than being cooped up in my house.\u2019<\/p>\n

In terms of recovery, it was still early days, but the relationship Paul was fostering with his local wildlife was providing both comfort and a striking collection of images. \u2018There\u2019s something unique about having a small insight into the life of a wild animal,\u2019 he enthuses. \u2018It\u2019s a privilege to experience.\u2019 In time he found the strength to widen his search beyond the back garden, and began actively looking for wild subjects. The way forward was becoming clearer.<\/p>\n\t\t

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Two sparrowhawks fighting. Canon EOS-1D X Mark II, 100-400mm lens, 1\/800sec at f\/5.6, ISO 1000. Credit: Paul Williams<\/p>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n

Celebratory images<\/h3>\n

One of Paul\u2019s excursions led him to Brownsea Island, not far from his Dorset home. Here he encountered red squirrels, peacocks and sika deer. Taking the short boat trip to the island meant that he could leave his troubles on the mainland. As wildlife became his lifeline, Paul began to realise that many species in the UK are critically endangered. \u2018Wildlife is struggling on a global scale,\u2019 he warns. \u2018It feels important to document these animals to raise awareness and to make people realise that we are impacting on them on a daily basis.\u2019<\/p>\n

Some photographers inspire action by showing us images of wildlife in distress: birds feeding plastic to their young, orphaned rhino calves or marine life entangled in discarded nets, for example, but Paul\u2019s images are celebratory. \u2018I think there\u2019s a danger of us becoming oversaturated with negative messages, which might lead people to think that there is no point in planting flowers for bees, or saving something, because the planet is messed up anyway,\u2019 he warns. \u2018So one of the messages I\u2019m trying to get out is that this stuff is worth saving, it\u2019s important, and it\u2019s not too late \u2013 everybody can make a difference.\u2019<\/p>\n

Alongside this call to action, Paul uses his images to share some of the privileged encounters he has with wildlife. \u2018Less than three years ago the main thought I had each morning was is this the day I\u2019m going to kill myself,\u2019 he confides. \u2018One of the ways I help my mental health is by sharing pictures that I\u2019ve taken with people who might not otherwise get the chance to see these things.\u2019 It\u2019s no wonder that giving something back makes Paul feel better; contribution is considered by many as essential to wellbeing, whether or not you su er from a mental or physical health condition.<\/p>\n

\u2018I\u2019m a strong believer in putting back in and not just taking out of the system,\u2019 echoes Paul. As a result, he works closely with Dorset Wildlife Trust (DWT). \u2018It\u2019s a great partnership. DWT has been very good to me, and I like to reciprocate \u2013 they\u2019ve got most of my portfolio to use as they wish.\u2019 Paul also contributes via his workshops, which he gets a lot out of.<\/p>\n

Paul\u2019s military career might have played a part in the decline of his mental health, but it had a few unexpected benefits too, in terms of fostering willpower and discipline and a great emphasis on fitness.<\/p>\n

Having faced some seriously bleak times, Paul has a level of self-awareness that\u2019s refreshing to encounter. \u2018I\u2019m no longer lost in a forest, but I\u2019m not out of the woods, and probably never will be,\u2019 he admits. \u2018It takes a lot of effort, but you\u2019ve got to keep sight of the fact that, irrespective of your problems, there is a way to re-channel your energies and move forwards. You\u2019re on a journey, and that\u2019s crucial.\u2019<\/p>\n\t\t

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A great close-up of a puffin with lunch. Canon EOS-1D X Mark III, 500mm lens, 1\/320sec at f\/14, ISO 620. Credit: Paul Williams<\/p>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\n

What helped<\/h3>\n

Paul\u2019s practical tips to help cope with tough times<\/strong><\/p>\n